Operation: Chicken Run

Now most companies’ staff this time of year aren’t exactly motivated productive little hamsters. The majority are simply limping along until they officially close shop for the holidays. Like they say, “the wheel may be turning but the hamster is definitely not home”.

In fact, the hamster will only be available from the 5th of January but he kindly requests that you leave him a message and he’ll get back to you (after the holidays). This leaves me with the uncomfortable suspicion that the hamsters at Pandemonium Productions are the only ones still at work!

And it’s is a public holiday today, today is the Day of Reconciliation. Personally, that means sleeping late and relaxing. It means lying around next to the pool sipping cocktails and enjoying summer. It means ‘not working’ to anyone that doesn’t work in the media industry.

Until you get a call that is…

I’m asked to identify and secure three suitable characters for a production happening the next day. These characters are to have a ‘revolutionary feel’ about them. They must exhibit anarchistic tendencies. They must be macho, Marxist supermen.

And they have to be chickens. And they need costumes.

What exactly does a ‘revolutionary chicken’ look like?More to the point, what do ‘revolutionary’ chickens wear?

With my mission objects clearly defined, I set out to gain some intel…

After phoning all my connections (spies) in the pet trade, Repti Pets was willing to let me have a look at their detainees. I take some surveillance photographs. I very nearly lose an eye as one chicken takes a stab at me. I’m a little rattled so I head back to base.

My strategy on this mission was to stay as far away from the chickens as possible. I considered them armed and dangerous. In other words, approach with extreme caution.

It quickly became clear that avoidance was not an option. Chickens can smell fear.

Our production assistant discovered this first hand, as he tried unsuccessfully to restrain one revolutionary. After, much flapping and scurrying around in terror we cornered the suspect and subdued him with an old blanket. Apparently they won’t peck you if the can’t see you. Rubbish!

They can, they do - be warned.

Since I was the one to throw the blanket, clearly I nominated myself for the position of animal handler. So, with much clucking (from me) we continued with the shoot – with much success. No chickens were harmed, no staff where blinded and we got the footage we needed!

For more, please visit http://www.pandemonium.co.za/